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A Quick and Easy Guide to Worry-Free Butt Sex

There is a glaring absence of sex education in the United States. And when it comes to men and women who are same-sex, the curriculum is nonexistent. As our society becomes more open for youth to feel comfortable with their sexuality, there has never been more of a need for gay sex ed than for today’s queer generation. In fact, HIV diagnoses among gay and bisexual men, ages 13-24, are up by 132.5% since the beginning of the century. Recent studies have also found that teens who get comprehensive sex education make better choices about sex. 

So get out your pens and crack those notebooks — it’s time to take some notes.

Anal Sex 101

When it comes to anal sex, there are three main topics that you should study: Cleanliness, Comfort, and Consent.

Cleanliness — Anal sex can be great, but the last thing you want to ruin your sexy moment is an unappealing smell. Sometimes, all you need is a good push and some sani-wipes to be sex-ready. Other times — depending on your diet or your digestive system — you may need to douche. Douching, however, can damage the mucous membrane of the anal wall, so be careful. This is why supplementing with the right kind of fiber can dramatically reduce the need for douching while protecting your booty from the inside out.

Comfort — Lube is one of the most important components to a healthy gay man’s sex life. Lube not only makes anal sex feel better, but it can also reduce your risk of tearing the anal wall. Lube makes for cleaner, safer, and more pleasurable sex for both partners. So when in doubt, always opt for more lube. There are general two types of lube to choose from.

Water-based lube: This type of lube is easy to clean and safe to use with toys as well as during anal sex. This kind of lube rinses off with just water and is 100 percent latex condom–compatible. However, this lube is not as long-lasting as silicone because it absorbs into the body and it is not waterproof.

Silicone-based lube: This type of lube is smooth, long-lasting, and less likely to feel sticky or tacky during use. Since this lube doesn’t absorb into the body, a little goes a long way, and it works in the shower, bathtub, pool, or hot tub. Silicone-based lube, however, is not as easy as water-based to clean off. It requires soap and water to remove. It is also not compatible with silicone-based sex toys.

Consent — Consent is hardly ever discussed when it comes to gay sex, but it is an important part of being a healthy gay man. The duality of men being men and same-sex intimacy far too often can blur the lines of sexual abuse. You have the right to say no. Your partner has the right to say no. If you or your partner is too inebriated for one reason or another, not being able to say no is not a yes. Do not compromise your emotional and sexual health by being pressured into doing things you aren’t comfortable with just because you are too afraid to speak up. Use the power of consent and make sure your sexual partners feel comfortable with using theirs.

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